Monday 17 September 2007

Bollywood Stereotypes!


There's this super urge to dive straight into the topic. (1st blog post. Excuse my 'enthu'ness) But I have to do justice to the lesser mortals (read:whoever doesn't watch hindi movies) and give some background information. So here it goes.

The hero is riding his cycle on a deserted street at an untimely hour and suddenly he sees a damsel-in-distress shrieking and running towards him. This pretty lady is followed by a jeep with half a dozen ruffians with huge mustaches, colorful banians and unbuttoned shirts and not to forget atleast one of the bad guys has to be bald. The girl hides behind the towering manly (lol) hero, while he broadens his chest and challenges the bad guys. Bring it Oooon! While the hero beats up five of them black and blue, an enraged well dressed bad guy drives away in fury. Little does our hero know that the man who drove away, is the only son of the most dangerous gangster, who wears the mask of an influential businessman in the city. For those who are weak at the guessing game, this gangster is also known as the ‘villain’. Muaahahahahha!! [Evil Laugh]

After hearing his son’s sob story, the villain schemes to ruin the hero’s life. Input includes using his 'web' of contacts and several attempts of murder with more baddies. The process involves some bad guys with chains, cricket bats and hockey sticks. You Must notice the 'Lowe' for the national game. Chak Deee! ;) The process at any cost must include a ‘bull in the china shop’ fight sequence in some market place where the destruction of a shop of earthen pots and a cart of tomatoes is a Must! The bad guys are rolled down staircases and thrown up in the air but they should Only land on hay stacks. The end result or output remains constant. The hero escapes unhurt. Yaaaah!

INTERVAL!

In the meantime, love blossoms between the then ‘damsel-in-distress’- now heroine and the hero. Some drama and half a dozen songs later, the heroine gets kidnapped by the villain and our super hero tactfully manages to get her half the way out of the evil man’s den. But then the leading lady has to tumble over a huge flower vase and hearing it crash, countless bad guys land there. The hero single handedly takes on all these evil men and this final battle is surprising called the ‘climax’ in every movie we watch! Btw, adventurous movie directors also throw in a car chase. After we watch with bated breath, the hero emerges winner! Did you already know that? Seeee... you are getting better at the guessing game.

I dare not complain.. Cos this weekend I watched a few (didnt count) movies and washed clothes at the same time (always know wat's next) I'll confidently sell some of these Hindi movies to you. New and Improved with ZBE Formula (Zero Brain Exertion)!! So U know what to do next weekend! :)


2 comments:

Ram said...

A very nice and cynical way of dissecting Bollywood movies.

Brahmaputra said...

Looks like Hindi movies 'stalk' our 'bean'... lol

'cause unless you are a die-hard fan, you wouldn't watch such movies when you have so many choices in the same Hindi genre. Talk Bheja Fry!, Swadesh, Raincoat... these dont have bald villians chasing 'bachao bachao' damsels! :)

On a more serious note, such movies are a frivolent mode of entertainment,they are fantasies in the garb of social reality. The more we avoid them, the better for our sanity.

I like the blogger's writing style. Understood, dear blogger, these are your random jottings but they make interesting reads. So way to go!