Do you mind?

Have you ever used the phrase ‘Do you mind’ in a question? And did you receive a weird answer?

Me: “Hey, Do you mind if I turn the AC on?”

Mr.X: “Yes...yes. ”

Me: [Wondering why he doesn’t want the AC!]

Errr… Ok. No problem.

Mr.X: Ya. No problem for me too. Put it no!

Me: Oh… you don’t mind the AC?

Mr. X: No… Noooo

Me: Well... [&*#$%#]

Mr. X instructs the driver to switch the AC on.

Me: Sigh of Relief!

--------------

Me: Do you mind sitting next to the window?

Ms. Y: Yea… yea.

Me: It’s really cold…So…if you could…

Ms. Y: [Makes way for me to get the ‘window seat’]

Me: [&*$%$%]

--------------

Me: Do you mind taking a picture?

Random guy in Goa: [excited] Yea!

Me: Ummm…

Random guy in Goa: [almost snatches the camera]

Me: [confused and posing for the picture]

--------------

And oh... there's this song called 'Do you mind' which goes like this:

Do you mind if I ask you a question
Do you mind if I swear not to hurt you
Do you mind if I bring her still with me
Do you mind if I forget and thank you
Do you mind if I juggle the meaning

Do you care that I wear only silver
Do you care that set only stone
Are you angry the you I'm adopting
Is only a pretense at home

Do you mind if I make you wear earrings
Like she did, like you did before
Do you mind for I think I still love you
Do you mind
Always have
Evermore

All I can say is NEVER MIND and would you mind if I use ‘would you mind’ the next time?