Meet the Parents

Want to know how to make a good impression on your partner’s parents? Read on.

Do you wear a taut expression on your face every time you think of meeting your partner’s parents for the first time? Are you afraid of what impression you will make? Since you have decided to take that all important step towards commitment and meet the parents, here is how you can make sure you are well-prepared.

Know your audience

Find out as much as you can about your partner’s parents in advance. Having a fair idea about the kind of people they are will ensure that you’re better prepared to face them. This will help you find common ground that you can focus on in your conversations with them. For example – if the Dad is really fond of cricket - make sure you make a comment about the India Vs. Sri Lanka match that happened last evening. Does the Mum love baking? – Ask her how she makes those soft ginger cookies! And if your partner is from a different community, make an effort to know their customs and practices. Being familiar with their way of life can take you a long way!

Gifting a little something

Avoid going with a gift that is too big or extravagant. The parents would certainly be happy to know that you’re well off, but you can save that expensive gift for a later date! Food gifts are usually a safe choice. A box of assorted nuts or a basket of fresh fruits are welcomed by most Indian households. If it’s an occasion like the parents’ anniversary, you can opt for a bouquet of flowers. And again, ask your partner what their favourites are. A bottle of wine has always been a great choice for a dinner gift, but make sure they are not teetotalers. If you're travelling to meet the parents, consider bringing something that's the specialty of the place where you're coming from, such as Rosogullas from Bengal, or Bhakarwadi from Maharashtra. This will add a ‘getting to know you’ touch to the whole encounter!

Dress to impress

Make sure you dress appropriately. For the men, going to meet the parents in your acid-washed baggy jeans and that Black Sabbath t-shirt that you wore right through college is a complete no-no! We are not asking you to suit up, but being dressed in smart casuals will do you a world of good. As for the ladies, pick an outfit that is not revealing or too dressy. Just wear clothes you’re comfortable in and that flatter your physique but at the same time, look modest. Keep your makeup to the minimal. And oh, don’t forget to wear that sincere smile!

Making good conversation

If you have mastered the art of conversation, then it’s a battle almost-won. Don’t ever appear to be indifferent, even if what they’re discussing is the last thing you did be interested in. Ladies, listen to the mother’s stories about your man and look at any baby photos she might want to show you - even if your boyfriend is cringing and trying to change the subject! Even for the men, this is a brilliant ploy, especially when you are stuck for conversation. After all, which parent doesn’t love discussing their offspring? Avoid harping on controversial subjects like religion and politics. And of course, the men should be prepared for some interrogation about their career goals! It may help to have ready answers for probable questions. Yes, it can be as painful as an interview! And most important thing to remember is that the weather can simply be described as ‘extremely cold’, don’t use expletives even if you are used to it!

Be affectionate, but not lovey-dovey!

Be attentive to your partner, but in the right manner. In the sense, you can be nice to your partner by opening the door or pulling a chair for her, or by pouring him some wine. Avoid being too lovey-dovey in the presence of the parents. Well, you may think your partner is a complete hottie, but knowing that he is ‘charming, well-settled and caring’ will suffice for your parents. How much ever parents care about their child having a loving partner, they certainly do not want to see you both kissing and groping! So the key is to be affectionate and very interested in the family and not just your partner.

Of dining and wining

If you're having dinner at their house, make sure you compliment the food. However nervous you are, it is not reason enough to hurry and just pour that drink down your throat! Drink ‘very socially’ and if you think you will end up getting drunk, steer clear of alcohol for the night and just stay sober. A great way to impress is to offer to clear the table or help out with the dishes. If you’re out to eat, offer to pay. More than likely, the parents won’t allow you to pay but they’ll appreciate the offer. And oh, if you are a smoker, do not smoke around the parents. Even if they smoke themselves, they may not appreciate it. To make a great closing impression, tell them how wonderful it was to meet them and what a great meal you had.

Go ahead. Put your best foot forward and be confident.

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PS: Never thought I would write a Relationship story!! Hehe! This appeared in MSN's Lifestyle section on the 22nd of Dec, '09.